its okay i guess. it’s usually the first day that needs getting through and the rest are easier !

im starting a new blog again

cause i think wordpress’s space is too small to blog on

SO

im going to create a new blog

heh heh

need to get on witht the first day’s hw! bye!

close to half a month

i might close it during the o level period cause i freaking have o levels this year!

wut._.

the sleep over was awesome although i didnt take much pictures

MALAYSIA

my curls are FAIL!!!!!

im like balding nowD:

there are more on fb but im lazy to upload

youthcamp!

we played werewolf like lotsa times!!!

my favourite game like EVER!(WEREWOLF)

i was in the food comm so i spent most of my timing cutting luncheon meat

indian poker. mad fun!!!

i want to play it sometime soon

oh ya and i went out with the youth group on christmas day!

new year resolution

fitting in

LOL i love it when nature does funny things like that!!

i bought a sand colored dress from crazy sore throat!

i havent gotten a chance to try it out so im posting this picture first!!!

there are still 2 things i saw that i wanted to buy!

but i dont have enough money this holiday so im waiting for next month then i’ll buy it from them!

now all i have to do is to pray that it wont get sold out!!!

i think blogshopping is kinda addictve!

like once you buy you want to keep buying.. and buying until your pocket reaches the rock bottom!!

i bought lotsa things this month so i have to

1) work and get MONEH

2)dont eat cause it’s a waste of money to eat!

if lets say you dont eat for days you dont stay back

you get to save the money to buy chio clothes and lose weight so you can actually FIT into those clothes!

i quite like my analogy:)

it only applies to me cause every one in 3 integrity is so mad skinny i feel like killing myself

most of them are in like the 40s range

life sucks .. at that part… for now c:

to make myself motivated to lose weight i always look at entries from look book or i look at nina dobrev

so christmasy i like!!!

im a very christmas person!

it’s my favorite holiday of the year!!

madness! i went to hongkong with like 15 degrees and force 6 if wind and i already started hiding behind the dustbin!!

THIS IS SNOW

i have now concluded that im a tropical girl

unless it’s skating!!

michelle kwan is in town for the weekend!

i wanted to go see her skate but you need to be a member of marina bay sands.:(

im posted all these is to get myself up for the christmas mood!

this year im not quite into it

cause i’ve been busy with choir and youth camp stuff

i want to go skating

i know right? it’s like being on top of the world!

dont ever buy this watermelon drink okay! it tastes like crap!

i look fat in the pe uniform!

TIME TO LOSE WEIGHT!

this panda pullover make me look fat! time to lose weight again!

room 4

room3

DAY 2

HIDDEN MICKEY!

see? i go for choir consultation!!!!

WEISHAN POKE HER BUTT AGAINST A SHARP EDGE HAHAHAHAHHAAA

cannot take it! i really like the toilet!

the costume make us look like witches i know right???

hong kong people damn funny! french fried!then we realised that it was french fries

their spaghetti is really not bad!!! the noodles are thicker than singapore’s one and they are generous with melted cheese!!!!
and their drink isnt coke or ice lemon tea it’s milk tea!!!! *hearts times infinity!!!*

i didnt have this time’s unglam cause i was taking all these!! :D

but whatever la. later have damn alot of unglam

I WANTED THE BALLOON !! IT LIGHTS UP AT NIGHT!!!!

all of us went bonkus after the performance! we indulged in all sorts of rubbish!!

Fishing beside the no fishing sign epic win lorh!

we didnt remove our make up until like 12 in the night :O

i think the blusher has permanently stained my cheeks!

dim sun breakfast the next day!!!!!

we were basically at disneyland playing on our own from this day on!

mr goh(vp):idont believe that they slept that 12 plus 1

mr loh;” yeah i dont believe them at all”

-.- some people need 8 hours of sleep everyday what you want?

back at my current favourite place in the world

jesslyn couldnt take my compulsive twirling on the teacup!! BE WARNED! i have this natural tendency of laughing hysterically and twirling the teacup!

poor girl!

the fire will come up dAMN FREAKING CLOSE TO THE SHIP

if you put your hand out it confirmed come back chao ta

lion king show!!!

the people that acted the show came to speak to us telling us to believe and live our dreams! LOL no wonder they work for disney!

AHAHAHAHHA poor bieber! must have been too tired!!!

last day! that’s why i was pulling a long face!

tour guide LILY!!!!
dont be decieved by the previous post okay!

i really had an awesome time with the clique and the sec3 choir boys

and those days in disney land!!!!!(esp joeleigachillibubble)

I LOVE HONGKONG TIMES INFINITY

love

keziah

im back. while waiting for the photos to be uploaded from the hongkong trip

if i said it was magical it will only be true to a certain extent

disneyland was and will forever be one of the best memories of my life.

the fire works

the people

the atmostphere

the perfect weather

my entire clique

but this fun trip was ruined by disappointment

i worked hard for this trip

in fact i can swear that no one from my choir has thought about their songs day in day out

humming it making sure im not flat or sharp

especially tundra

i have by far on the songs worked the hardest in my life for something as disappointing as choir

EVERYONE has worked their ass of for the competition

when im tired mentally i press myself to attend every practice

i listen hard and try to remember everything mr low said

i have tried hard and there is no reason and excuse for utter failure

we sounded great at rehearsal

and then came the competition

the amount of things expected out of me and my own expectations has put me under tremendous pressure

i have really never felt so stressed and yet i cannot run away and rip all my hair out crying about how stressed i am

yes i tell people im anxious

but no one can understand how i feel

im 15

my first solo is for a competition

it has  three long parts

more than 50 percent of the marks come from me for tundra

i need to have the right rhythm

i need to have the correct emotions

i need to be able to impress the judges standing less that 40 meters away from me

i need to remain calm

i need to refrain from all those sinful food staring at my face

heck i love food. i live to eat not eat to live

it’s hard for me to say no to temptation more than 6 times a day

“hey you want to try the chocolate cake?it’s damn nice i swear”

“OMG there’s hash browns you want? i get for you”

“wa i swear this fried spring roll is damn nice”

“are you sure you dont want the chocolate ice cream??”

“huh… why you dont want the chocolate?abit nevermind one la it’s okay”

“you want a bite of the (whatever unhealthy food)”

“everyone else is eating lah i’s okay one”

-.-

major fml okay?

i hear people say it’s a magical feeling one stage

a magical feeling you’ll never forget

yeah okay

the magical feeling of forgetting everything the conductor has told you the previous night

holding a count too long

taking unnecessary breaths

lacking in emotions

the best part is i didnt even feel anxious. it was pure stress.

i was like some freak show up there

i saw:

people staring,not in wonder or awe, but in like what-the-hell-is-that-clown-doing look.

people sniggering at the back of the audience

even if i made all those mistakes i cannot do anything but smile as if i sang it right.

am i being sensitive?

even if i feel that their face is evident with …idk critical looks

people always say that im overly sensitive

that they didnt mean it or whatever

try being in my shoes where your hormones are running around crazily and emotions are overflowing and tell me that i dont have a right to be sensitive

stop dissmissing it as sensitive BECAUSE THERE ARE THINGS I KNOW THAT ARE ACCURATE

my conductor IS(present tense)DISAPPOINTED in my performance

my entire clique persuades me that it’s not my fault

but i know it is

i did not sound even close to decent

…………………

so i broke down after the competition

and yeah . so many people saw me crying which is again an embarrassment

mr toh had to come talk to me about WHY i am freaking crying AGAIN

i makes me pissed off that i cannot control my over active tear glands

and irritated that i cannot switch off the stress button

i dont have high expectations of myself.

in fact i never had

i just feel that when i practice hard for something there is NO room for failure because i reap what i sow

if i put in hard work i expect results

isnt this a basic expectation?

you know what this tells me?

that although i may seem like i have a voice marginally good enough to be a soloist

im not cut out for it

because i have yet to see a complete success

because this is exactly the only thing im good at

giving up

cause im a quitter

it was so hard to face the choir and especially mr low cause i fell so very short of his expectations.

it was hard to have fun, smile and laugh as if the competition was a success

it’s hard to fool everyone into thinking that i have gotten out of the stage where i feel guilty towards everyone because i have let every single one of them down

it was hard.

and i glad that im back and i dont have to face them until the 28 of december

then it’s syf

and then my journey in choir will really be over.

because i dont deserve to be in a cca where i let people down

i had dinner at orchard road today!!!

it means that

1)i missed my 7pm korean show

2)i got to see pretty lights that were set up for christmas

3)i didnt have to study tonight

4)i ate excessively

5)going to grow fat so i must exercise more tomorrow

it’s good to be like bacon.

all he knows is to eat sleep and play. even if he’s fat like a pig no one complains that he’s BMI is too high. in fact many people  prefer him to balls.he’s got more fats to touch:D

poor balls:( he must be feeling old and neglected

i still love him very much! he’s going to turn 2 years old soon! i hope he doesnt die before that

ANW

im still new and learning how to curl my hair

i want to be able to master it before hong kong!!

speaking of which, i bought a new panda pullover imported from korea!( to be worn to hongkong)

it’s really CUTE!and warm and comfy!

I LIKE PANDAS!:D:D

okay

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

worried max also:o

im praying hard that i wont screw up my notes!!!!

i was unknowingly under alot of stress about my solo

i broke out in hives:(

i know right?it’s freaking gross. i almost cried at how my limbs were all red and bumby

this was after 4 hours the first breakout where it got alot better. i didnt dare to take any pictures before that.the camera lens would just crack.

these were evidence for the doctor to determine what it was

urgh

im going to take lotsa pictures in HONGKONG DISNEYLAND!!!!!

:D

i bought a hair straightener(pink) from sasa

i  really like it cause i can curl my hair with it and when i screw up my curls i can straighten them up

yay me!

im going to buy a panda pullover i saw at T3!!

IT SO CUTE AND WARM AND HAS BETTER MATERIAL THAN THE FOX JACKET I REALLY WANTED!!!!!!

life is good:)

it means i have to get a camera soon!!!!

i’ll aim to get one by next year!!

i like how im actually ticking things off my wish list

i always make them and then convince myself to why i shouldnt get it, and im very good at convincing myself

im getting my contacts tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwww

civic trail was fun! much better than i had expected! due to previous experience like the history trail(that was like the lamest shit ever)  i dont even remember where the outing was held.All i know is mr bercury talking ans talking and everyone was talking among themselves!

wanwen taught me how to spell beetles

i always thought those shiny bugs were written as Beatles

until it dawned on me that beatles were actually these guys

and that they look nothing like

that.

i swear im such an idiot at times. like i can go for math tuition without foolscap ,calculator and an eraser-.-

today i went to excercise with adrienne!!

those aunties in the lo class were TEN MILLION INFINITY TIMES fitter than me. they were jumping and hopping everywhere and i couldn’t even catch up with their momentum.D:

i saw madam maglina at the class. the last time i saw her was when she taught me in sec2 home ec.im happy she still can recognize this mad girl trying to keep up with women twice her  age.

my mom, adrienne my math tuition teacher and my home ec teacher are all in the same aerobics class.coincidence much?

anyway,

i was suppose to go skating but the stupid rink was closed cause some selfish person wanted to book it for private use from 1 until 5-.-

so i went for chem tuition instead. now im still at the chem project thingy.

..

i need contacts …BONG

so i can run without my specs falling off my face 90 percent of the time.

i want curly hair too. needless to say i think this hair is gorgeous TTM!

but because God gave me straight hair unless i starve myself to save up for a hair curler i have to stick to my boring straight hair.

it;s weird isnt it. when people have small eyes they want big eyes

that why we have eye enlarging contacts and eye surgery

when people have a low/high nose bridge they want high/lower ones

that’s why we have rhinoplasty

when people have straight hair they want curly hair

that’s why we have hair straighteners and curlers

im kind of happy that in this generation we still can change the way we look if it;s unsatisfactory.

i’ve always wanted a less meaty nose and bigger eyes. like those drop dead gorgeous people. until it dawned on me that  it may have been because these people are comfortable in their own skin that’s why they are so pretty.

i shall try from now on to accept my nose and my hamster like face. cause i think i look best the way i am now. if i try to chnage it i may end up looking weird.

like Michael jackson:X

i know this isnt the time for resolutions but from this moment

i ant to be more

1)appreciative

2)positive

3)happy

4)kind

5)down to earth?

6)peacful

7)hardworking

8)nurturing

9)generous with my food

10)reponsible

and be less

1) fiery tempered

2)dramatic?

3) ciritcal of myself

4)juding of others

5)narrow minded

6)lazy

7)greedy with junk food

8) reliant on others

9)spendthrift

10)disorganised

it’s ten to change and 10 to improve tremendously on

i need to start getting on it RIGHT NOW

my parents always tell me that while im young i should change all my bad habits and replace them with good habits

like that i can become a better friend, a better daughter and a better person

so i’ll try my very best.

and become less of this crap in sec4.

SAY HELLO TO JUNG JONG HWA!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

i have been insane recently.i’ve watched you’re beautiful until wee hours of the morning like 3..4 plus!!!!MAD CUTE LA PLEASE!

he’s DAMN poor thing inside the show!! LIKE SOME CRAP LIKE THAT!!! I FEEL DAMN BAD FOR HIM!!!!
everytime he’s disappointed cause the freaking blind girl that flocks to that asshole im like “*gasp*NOOO!!!!!!!”

at three in the morning mind you

i think im mad

BUT

i havent caught the korean bug. im not into like SHINee and super junior.there ‘re just too many of them!!!!

i think yong hwa looks like kin hyung jooon no?

they’re like brothers…. FROM THE SAME PLASTIC SURGEON!!

i know so cause all korean stars go for plastic

except for snsd.

??

i thought they were like the plastic korean group.until i came across this article where taeyeon and jessica said they have never ever went for plastic surgery…

hmm…. i have my doubts about tha. BUT WHO CARES?? AT LEAST THEY LOOK CHIO IN THE END!!!!!!!!!AND

i realized that i have hope

many people online have been saying like how their face sharpen and nose bridges start to appear when they are older@

i hope the same will happen to mke cause i really dont want that egg face a no nose bridge!!!